The Holidays Can Be Wonderful— AND Overwhelming
The holiday season often brings joy, connection, and celebration—but for many, it also brings stress, exhaustion, and the pressure to make everything perfect. Between family gatherings, school events, financial strain, and the emotional weight of expectations, it’s easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
If you’ve ever found yourself counting down the days until it’s over, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I often remind clients that it’s okay to step back, breathe, and give yourself permission to care for your own well-being.
How Gratitude Helps You Stay Grounded
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It’s a practice that trains your brain to notice what’s going right—even in the middle of holiday overwhelm. Research shows that gratitude can lower stress hormones, improve sleep, and boost overall mood.
Here are a few simple ways to integrate gratitude into your daily life during the holidays:
Start a daily gratitude list. Write down three small things each morning that make you smile—like your child’s laughter, a warm cup of coffee, or five quiet minutes alone.
Share gratitude as a family. During meals or bedtime, take turns sharing something you’re thankful for. It builds connection and helps kids learn emotional awareness.
Pause before reacting. When holiday stress builds, take a deep breath and mentally name one thing you’re grateful for. It’s a powerful reset in moments of frustration.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Many moms and parents tell me they feel guilty taking time for themselves during the holidays. But here’s the truth: self-care is not indulgent—it’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your emotional energy directly impacts your family’s well-being.
Consider incorporating small, intentional acts of self-care this season:
Simplify your commitments. Say no to one event or task that drains you.
Build in quiet moments. Even 10 minutes of journaling, stretching, or listening to calming music can lower stress.
Ask for help. Let someone else handle a chore, meal, or errand—it’s a gift to both of you.
Set digital boundaries. Turn off notifications or social media for an evening to truly rest and recharge.
When you prioritize your needs, you’re modeling healthy boundaries and emotional regulation for your children.
Combining Gratitude and Self-Care for Holiday Balance
The most effective way to stay sane this holiday season is to blend gratitude and self-care together.
For example:
After a stressful day, write a quick gratitude note to yourself for showing up anyway.
During family chaos, pause and breathe deeply, noticing one small thing that brings you joy.
Create a “gratitude jar” with your kids—fill it with daily notes of appreciation and read them together on the holiday you choose. We are currently doing this in my house to read together on Thanksgiving Day!
These practices shift your focus from doing to being—from striving for perfection to embracing presence.
Final Thoughts
The holidays will never be perfectly calm or completely stress-free, but they can be meaningful and manageable when you approach them with gratitude and self-compassion.
Remember: you deserve to enjoy this season, too.
Start small. Slow down. Notice the good.
That’s how you stay grounded, grateful, and sane through the holiday season.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Reagan Glover, LMFT is a therapist serving clients in Scotts Valley, Aptos and via telehealth throughout California. If you are interested in learning about how you can seek support with Reagan either now or after the new year, visit www.reaganglovermft.com and fill out an inquiry. There’s never been a better time to focus on your own well-being.
The Power of Emotional Regulation: Why Our Kids Need Us to Do the Inner Work First
I often hear parents say things like, “I just want my kids to handle their emotions better,” or “I wish my child could calm down instead of melting down.”
What many parents don’t realize is that the foundation for a child’s emotional well-being begins with our own emotional regulation. Before a child’s brain is fully developed or has tools to manage big feelings, they borrow our nervous systems.
When we stay steady during our child’s emotional storms—whether that’s a tantrum, defiance, or tears—we’re not just surviving the moment. If we learn to frame it this way, it’s actually an opportunity. We’re teaching self-regulation through our calm and accepting presence, the power of connection and modeling that it’s possible for them too.
Why Emotional Regulation in Parents Matters
Emotional regulation for parents isn’t about being calm all the time. It’s about understanding your emotions, noticing what’s happening in your body, and choosing how to respond—especially under stress.
When we practice this kind of awareness, we:
Model healthy coping skills instead of reactive behavior.
Stay emotionally available when our kids are struggling.
Create an atmosphere of safety and connection at home.
Build resilience and trust in our relationships.
Children raised in emotionally safe homes often develop stronger emotional intelligence, better communication, and greater problem-solving skills—traits that support them for life.
The Hard Truth: Regulation Takes Practice
Let’s be honest parenting is hard work. When you’re juggling exhaustion, stress, and your child’s big emotions, it can be difficult to stay grounded. Many of us grew up without good models of emotional regulation, so we’re learning these skills as adults while simultaneously trying to teach them to our kids.
That’s why I tell parents in both individual and couples sessions: learning emotional regulation isn’t just a parenting strategy—it’s a healing journey.
It’s about slowing down instead of reacting, noticing when your body is tense or flooded, and offering yourself compassion instead of criticism.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Emotional Regulation as a Parent:
Notice your triggers. Reflect on what moments or behaviors push your buttons the most. Awareness helps you interrupt the cycle.
Pause before reacting. Even one deep breath can shift your nervous system and give you space to respond instead of react. As Jefferson Fisher says, “Let your first word be your breath.”
Name your emotions. Try saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.” Naming emotions decreases their intensity.
Repair after conflict. When you lose your temper (and you will because you are human), circle back with your child. Apologizing shows accountability and safety. It also teaches them they can do the same thing.
Prioritize your own self-care. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest, connection, movement, and therapy all support your ability to stay grounded.
The Ripple Effect of Regulated Parenting
When parents learn to regulate their emotions, it changes everything—how we communicate, how conflict unfolds, and how our children experience love and safety.
Every time you take a deep breath instead of reacting, or repair after a hard moment, you’re teaching your child what emotional safety feels like. Those moments build trust and strengthen your connection.
Remember: it’s never too late to begin. Emotional regulation is a skill you can learn, and one that can transform your entire family system.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Reagan Glover, LMFT sees clients in her offices both in Scotts Valley and Aptos, as well as via telehealth (throughout California). She has been married for over 25 years and is a parent of a neurodivergent child. She integrates her personal healing journey of growing up in an alcoholic family and the tools she has learned in her own recovery. If you’re ready to explore this work of learning emotional regulation more deeply, reach out on her website at: reaganglovermft.com. She is more than willing to support you either individually or as a couple to help you identify your triggers, build new coping tools, and create a calmer, more connected home.
Parenting Burnout: Finding Your Way Back to Calm and Connection
It all begins with an idea.
Parenting can be one of the most meaningful and rewarding experiences in life — but it can also be exhausting. Many parents, especially those raising school-age or neurodivergent children, find themselves feeling drained, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves. This experience is often called parenting burnout, and you are not alone if you’ve been feeling it.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in California, I work with parents who feel stuck in survival mode and are longing for balance, support, and hope.
What Is Parenting Burnout?
Parenting burnout is more than just being tired. It’s a chronic state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that can make it difficult to show up as the parent you want to be. Common signs include:
Feeling irritable or short-tempered with your children or partner
Trouble sleeping, or never feeling rested
Guilt for needing time away from your family
Feeling disconnected from joy, hobbies, or your sense of self
Questioning whether you’re “good enough” as a parent
Burnout often comes from trying to do it all without enough rest, support, or self-compassion.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Many parents tell me they feel guilty when they take time for themselves. But the truth is, caring for yourself is an essential part of caring for your family. As the saying goes you cannot pour from an empty cup and a depleted parent can’t give from a place of warmth and patience.
Simple practices that help:
Taking five minutes for deep breathing before transitions
Saying “no” to extra commitments that stretch you too thin
Reaching out for support — whether from friends, family, or therapy
Remembering that rest is productive
How Therapy Can Help Parents Facing Burnout
In therapy, you don’t have to carry the weight alone. Together, we can:
Explore the root causes of your burnout
Learn tools to regulate stress and calm your nervous system
Build healthier boundaries around time and energy
Reconnect with your identity outside of parenting
Strengthen your ability to show up with compassion for yourself and your children
I work with parents throughout California, and in person in Scotts Valley and Aptos, to help them find relief, regain balance, and feel more grounded in daily life.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If you’re noticing signs of burnout, know that you are not failing — you are simply human. Support is available. If you’re ready to begin easing the weight of parenting burnout, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
📍 I offer in-person sessions in Scotts Valley, CA, and Aptos, CA, as well as secure online therapy for clients throughout California. Give me a call at (831) 460-2550 x4. I offer free 15 phone consultations to see if we are a good fit.
✨ You deserve care, too. Taking the first step toward support can help you reclaim calm, joy, and connection — for yourself and your family.
When Drinking to Cope with Parenting Stress Becomes Something More
It all begins with an idea.
The Glass of Wine That Promises Relief
Parenting is exhausting, and it’s common for both moms and dads to turn to wine or alcohol to cope with parenting stress. That evening beer or glass of wine can feel like the only way to relax after long days of school runs, homework, sporting events and endless adulting.
But when does “mom wine culture” or “just one drink” cross over into something that starts to affect your physical health, mood, or overall family life?
Signs Drinking May Be Becoming a Problem
It’s not always easy to see when alcohol use shifts from stress relief into something that deserves attention. Some signs include:
Increased reliance: Using alcohol more and more to cope with stress.
More than intended: Drinking more than planned or struggling to cut back.
Emotional reliance: Feeling irritable, restless, or anxious without it.
Impact on family life: Less energy, patience, or focus with your kids.
Hidden habit: Hiding or downplaying your drinking from others.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents who feel overwhelmed find themselves leaning on alcohol—and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means it might be time to find support outside yourself if this pattern is going to change.
How Therapy Can Help Parents Who Are Drinking to Cope
Support doesn’t mean you have to quit alcohol altogether. Therapy is a safe, compassionate space to explore your relationship with drinking and stress. Together, we can:
Discover healthy coping tools for parenting stress
Build strategies for balance, rest, and patience
Explore whether making changes in alcohol use could help you feel more like yourself
You’re Not Alone—Support Is Available
If you’ve noticed that alcohol has become more of a habit than a choice, therapy can help. I specialize in supporting moms, parents, and caregivers who are stressed, burned out, or questioning their relationship with alcohol.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Reagan Glover, MS, LMFT (She/Her) provides therapy to individuals and couples in-person in both Aptos and Scotts Valley, as well as via telehealth throughout California. If you are interested in learning more about starting therapy, checkout her website at www.reaganglovermft.com or call for a free phone consultation at (831) 460-2550 x4. Reagan has worked with people exploring their relationship with alcohol, as well as those identifying as addicts and alcoholics for more than a decade.